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Added Joy for y'all, We have been graced with another take on The Forbidden Kingdom by the man, the myth the legend, El Fano Supremo, Eric Neuner. El Fano couldn't wait to share his unbridled enthusiasm for the adventures of Jackie & Jet and his new heroine/alter-ego, Golden Sparrow.

El Fano's review bubbles over with SPOILERY-goodness, kids, so be warned if you like suprises! Kick it, SuperFan!

"...The path is unsafe. The place is unknown. The journey is unbelievable..." .... hmmm ... yet the "place" and "path" and "journey" seem strangely familiar, what does it remind me of, oh yes..."MORTAL KOMBAT" [insert theme music here] As I sat in the theatre and watched the story unfold, "THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM" (directed by Rob Minkoff and written by John Fusco) - I found myself making many a reference to my host Mighty Ganesha - elbowing silly video-game lingo throughout the film, all in the name of "MORTAL KOMBAT." Yet soon after, I slowly began to get swept away in the story and into the Kung Fu fighting. Over-all, I thoroughly enjoyed this cinematic experience, however (- for myself and others, I am sure) there was one major flaw — the lead character! Jason Tripitikas played by Michael Angarano, fell short in every possible way. I felt as if I was watching him in some kind dream sequence on his old show, Will & Grace. His acting hasn't matured, and well, from his awkwardness on screen, (-extending even to his strange chest-hair patterning) there was just no appeal (- in every possible definition of that word). I found myself constantly re-casting him in my head and shared some of my choices amongst friends - but all were in agreement, my choices were all just a little too "fey". So, who do you cast in the role of awkward, Kung Fu obsessed 16 year old Jason, who, by other-worldly chance is cast into a new reality - only to realize that the fate of the world rests in his able hands. (Suggestions are open for recasting possibilities - text your reply to -1-800-FORBID-ANGARANO)

Our story unfolds as Jason discovers a legendary weapon in the Chinatown pawn-shop owned by his friend and companion, Old Hop (Jackie Chan). A "stick" once owned by the great and powerful Monkey King (Jet Li), who for the last 500 years has been imprisoned by the great and powerful Jade Warlord (Collin Chou). After the ”stick” summons him to Ancient China, Jason must set out on a quest with the immortal Lu Yan (Jackie Chan, again), Golden Sparrow (Yifei Liu), and the Silent Monk (Jet Li, encore) to return the weapon to its rightful owner. Along the way they are chased and hunted down by the Jade Warlord’s evil sorceress Ni Chang (Li Bing Bing), whose long white hair might just kill you if you don't watch out! (Side-bar, the white hair - was waaaay toooo “wig"- like! Concept-wise/action-wise it was what I was looking the MOST forward to after seeing the teaser-trailer- but on screen, it just didn't work for me, and it was a let down, a long-haired let down.)

Probably the most memorable aspects of the film were the fight sequences as well as for the first time in history seeing Jet Li and Jackie Chan together. The Monkey King and Silent Monk, played stoically and brilliantly by Li, and Lu Yan and Old Hop, played with comedic flair by Chan, bring out the films core action and humorous sequences. Their first meeting is at a Buddhist temple as they fight to take back the "legendary-stick," and the breathtaking martial arts choreography by Yuen Wo-Ping unfolds, and we realize how great these two masters of the Kung Fu arts really are. (Btw, after seeing Jet Li fight in his white Monk robe - I SOOO want one!]

After discovering that both the Monk and the immortal Yan are on the same quest to confront the Jade Warlord and unleash the Monkey Prince from his stone prison, the journey really begins. While our hero has great knowledge of Chinese Marital Arts movies, he knows not a drop of actual Kung Fu. Our great teachers begin a Karate-Kid-like approach to teaching him the "ropes" of Kung Fu. In a very Rocky-esque montage, Jason begins his training, and soon the boy becomes a man! Yet thru these vigorous lessons, another issue arose for me – in some cringe worthy moments, Jason begins to have "feelings" for the young and ever-so beautiful Golden Sparrow. The Sparrow has a mission of her own - a vengeance mission - to kill the Jade Warlord, who stole away the only family she ever knew. Poised with a "jade poison sparrow dart," its magic possessing the power to kill the immortal Jade Warlord, her mind and mission is clear - yet thru this all, a love story unfolds as Jason falls for this Asian beauty.

As not to ruin perhaps the best sequence of events ... the action that takes place at the end of the film is breathtaking. The special-effects as the Monkey Prince is released from his stone prison were so stupendous; they had to show it in slow motion from every angle - and they did! I loved every moment (- it melted by long-hair sadness away). The strong presence of Collin Chou as the Jade Warlord is brilliant. His fight sequences, when our heroes finally come face to face with him and his sorceress, are pure perfection. His unscathed persona, his mastery of the dark arts and unparalleled Kung Fu, is played with such evil-delight; he’s a sinful pleasure to watch (Right down to his emerald green jade eye shadow by MAC). As each move was played out, each weapon used, each spell and sorcery cast, we watch as good slowly triumphs over evil. But with every great win, comes an even greater loss, and revenge always has a way of biting back at you: When Golden Sparrow's vengeance gets the best of her she meets an unfortunate demise. Plagued with sorrow and remorse, our hero begs for her life, however as we soon learn, Golden Sparrow’s destiny was written by her long ago.

The final scenes of Jason in Ancient China bear a strange resemblance to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, right down to the lighting, and the placement of shrubbery (?!). As Jason returns to today’s Boston, all he learned in the past, he now can showcase in the present. When the bullies that harassed him in the beginning of the movie try to finish him off, Jason shows them "a thing or two about a thing or two" and our hero remains the hero in this reality - where he plans to stay. As we fade and cut away for the final sequences of The Forbidden Kingdom, a young Asian girl catches Jason's eye ... Could it be?? No? Yet, anything is possible, and Golden Sparrow’s reincarnation may in fact be here in this reality. Can love truly die? Stay tuned folks, perhaps a sequel is in order.

~ :el super-forbidden kingdom fano:

Eric Neuner

April 19th, 2008

Photos

(Courtesy of Lionsgate Films)